Ex- England skipper Lewis Moody has announced he has been found to have motor neurone disease and acknowledged he cannot yet deal with the full ramifications of the muscle-deteriorating condition that claimed the lives of other rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old athlete, who was part of the World Cup champion 2003 side and won several English and European titles with Leicester, gave an interview to BBC Breakfast two weeks after finding out he has the illness.
"There's a certain confronting what lies ahead and being reluctant to fully comprehend that at the present time," he stated.
"It isn't that I am unaware of where it's heading. We comprehend that. But there is absolutely a hesitation to confront the future for now."
Moody, speaking alongside his wife Annie, explains instead he feels "calm" as he directs his attention to his current welfare, his family and getting ready for when the disease progresses.
"Perhaps that's shock or possibly I deal with matters differently, and when I have the details, it's simpler," he stated further.
First Signs
Moody learned he had MND after observing some weakness in his shoulder while exercising in the gym.
After rehabilitation was ineffective for the issue, a set of scans showed nerve cells in his central nervous system had been damaged by MND.
"You receive this medical finding of MND and we're appropriately very moved about it, but it's rather peculiar because I feel like I'm perfectly healthy," he added.
"I don't feel ill. I don't feel sick
"My indications are quite slight. I have a bit of muscle wasting in the fingers and the shoulder.
"I remain able to performing all activities. And optimistically that will carry on for as long as is possible."
Condition Advancement
MND can develop quickly.
As per the non-profit MND Association, the condition claims a one-third of people within a twelve months and above half within 730 days of detection, as ingestion and respiration become increasingly challenging.
Medical care can only retard deterioration.
"It isn't ever me that I feel sad for," added an affected Moody.
"There's grief around having to break the news to my mum - as an sole offspring - and the consequences that has for her."
Household Effect
Talking from the family home with his wife and their pet dog by his side, Moody was consumed with emotion when he discussed informing his sons - 17-year Dylan and 15-year Ethan - the traumatic news, stating: "That represented the toughest thing I've ever had to do."
"They are two wonderful boys and that was rather upsetting," Moody remarked.
"We were seated on the couch in crying, Ethan and Dylan both wrapped up in each other, then the dog leapt across and started removing the drops off our faces, which was rather funny."
Moody said the focus was staying in the present.
"There exists no treatment and that is why you have to be extremely militantly focused on just accepting and appreciating each moment now," he stated.
"As my wife mentioned, we've been really blessed that the primary choice I made when I retired from playing was to devote as much period with the kids as feasible. We won't recover those periods back."
Sportsman Connection
Professional sportspeople are disproportionately impacted by MND, with research proposing the incidence of the disease is up to 600% greater than in the general population.
It is thought that by limiting the oxygen obtainable and causing injury to nerve cells, frequent, vigorous exercise can initiate the illness in those previously vulnerable.
Sports Professional Life
Moody, who earned 71 England appearances and competed with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was dubbed 'Mad Dog' during his professional days, in recognition of his courageous, unwavering style to the game.
He played through a stress fracture of his leg for a period with Leicester and once caused a training-ground altercation with team-mate and friend Martin Johnson when, frustrated, he left a tackle pad and began participating in collisions.
After appearing as a replacement in the Rugby World Cup championship win over Australia in 2003, he claimed a ball at the end of the line-out in the critical passage of play, creating a base for playmaker Matt Dawson to snipe and Jonny Wilkinson to kick the victory-securing drop-goal.
Backing Network
Moody has already informed Johnson, who captained England to that championship, and a few other former players about his condition, but the remaining individuals will be discovering his news with the broader public.
"There shall be a moment when we'll need to rely on their assistance but, at the moment, just having that sort of love and acceptance that people are there is the crucial thing," he said.
"This game is such a excellent community.
"I mentioned to the kids the other day, I've had an extraordinary life.
"Even if it finished now, I've appreciated all of it and accepted all of it and got to do it with unbelievable people.
"When you have the opportunity to label your love your profession, it's one of the greatest privileges.
"Having accomplished it for so considerable a time with the groups that I did it with was a joy. And I know they will want to help in any way they can and I look forward to having those discussions."
